10 of the Best Self-Care Tips for Family Caregivers

Being a family caregiver is felt like an act of love and honor by many family caregivers. 

But caregiver burnout and stress usually comes with the territory. Therefore, caregiver self-care is vital for the care provider and the recipient of their care!

Here’s a Fact: 

None of us are automatically prepared to take on the role of a caregiver.  And, the majority of us will willingly (or unwillingly in some cases) take on this role to look after the unique needs of a loved one.  With this role, however, comes various forms of stress: emotional, physical, and financial.

As a Certified Senior Advisor®, I felt compelled to create a toolkit about respite care.

The Family Caregiver Respite Care Toolkit gives you practical tools to be less stressed, more healthy, self-caring (without guilt!), and empowered to become a more balanced and abundant family caregiver.

The Following are Ten Self-Care Tips for Family Caregivers:

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help! 

Please don’t be a martyr; everyone needs help and support at specific points in their lives! Don’t view this as some admission of being a “bad person.” Feeling that you have to “go it alone” is a recipe for emotional and physical disaster. Instead, ask for help from other family members, friends, your place of worship, your doctor, and last but not least, professional caregiver services. 

Important:  Calling upon your spiritual faith is crucial through life, and especially during periods of caregiving.

Getting Exercise, Eating Healthy, and Getting More Sleep:

These are the “trifecta” for taking care of your needs when under stress!  

Getting seven to eight hours of sleep is ideal. Eat more fruits, veggies, and lean protein, and cut back on alcohol intake.

Consider meditation as a great way to de-stress. 

Note: If your caregiving situation doesn’t allow you to do one or all of these, then look into getting some form of help, like respite care  (i.e., have another family member or professional caregiver give you a break to exercise; check into a hotel or go over to a friend’s house and spend a couple of days and nights of uninterrupted rest).

Don’t Stress Yourself with Unrealistic Expectations: 

Unrealistic expectations can set us up for failure on many levels.  You can’t afford to go on “guilt trips” about what you cannot reasonably do. 

Be honest with yourself about your loved one’s condition, your own ability to accept life’s “new normal,” and your ability to “handle everything” without personal burnout or stress.

Realize When Depression is Creeping In:

Depression is insidious – it can creep into your psyche and disrupt your overall well-being and the care and well-being of your loved one. 

Seek help and professional references from your physician and mental health specialist.

Indulge Yourself!

Get a massage.  Take in a concert.  Go out to dinner. 

In other words, reward yourself occasionally for providing excellent, selfless care for your loved one.

Set Healthy Boundaries: 

We can’t be everything to everybody!  Be respectful of your limitations and needs.  Know when to say “no” – not only to the demands of others but also the demands of your loved one! 

There may be times when your care recipient may try to use what I call “emotional blackmail” for unreasonable requests, especially if it’s a parent making the request.

Be prepared to have your emotional “buttons pushed.”  You’ll need to not only state what you can’t do, but it’s essential to state why you can’t do it. 

Taking this approach with your loved one can help to stop a pattern of their request constantly re-occurring.  You can also offer them an alternative – on your schedule.

Let Go of Unwarranted Guilt: 

Stop beating yourself up for not being “perfect” – “perfect” in handling your emotions when worn out; “perfect” in the quality of care you feel that you always need to provide; “perfect” in handling everyone else’s needs in addition to your own.

Instead, as covered before, be proactive in seeking help and resources for dealing with caregiving issues.

If working outside the home, let your manager/human resources department know what’s going on:  The stress of caregiving can affect the quality of your job performance.  Don’t wait until a negative situation crops up, and then you tell your manager what’s going on.  It’s not fair to you or them.  Many companies have what’s called an Employee Assistance Program (“EAP”).  The EAP offers their employees such services as counseling services, support groups, referral services, and other resources.  Note: If your company doesn’t have this service, then speak to your doctor about the need for counseling; many insurance policies cover counseling.

Prepare for Extra Financial Responsibilities:

As soon as possible, look into various financial options to help supplement the care of your loved one.  Many family caregivers are “unpaid caregivers.”  The loss of finances can be attributed to unpaid leave when the caregiver has to reduce work hours to give care; the added cost of prescriptions, extra groceries, and other necessities can burden a caregiver’s finances.  Unless the care recipient has saved a substantial amount of money over the years to pay for their needs and outside care, there will be financial consequences.  Here are some options and information resources for them (and you) to consider:

• Reverse mortgages
• Medicare and Medicare Advantage
• Medicaid
• AARP’s “Family Caregiver Resource Guide”
• Veterans benefits
• Getting Paid as a Family Caregiver

Treasure Your Relationships: 

Treasuring and nurturing your relationships with yourself, your spouse/significant other, your children, and your friends will help keep you grounded.

Finding a healthy life balance with your family and friends benefits everyone concerned.  Keep communication honest and open with them. Let family members know that if you provide care all the time, without support, you’ll get burned out and stressed out.  If you are a “sandwich generation” caregiver (one example, taking care of an ailing loved one and your children), then this is crucial for everyone’s well-being.

Conclusion:

Taking on the role of a caregiver means that you must incorporate self-care tools into your life for the health of your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and social well-being.

Related Blog Posts:

“The Unintentional Caregiver.” Balanced Abundant Living.com. May 25, 2021.

“The ‘Sandwich Generation’: Our Need for Balanced, Abundant Living.” BalancedAbundantLiving.com. June 1, 2021.

“Give Yourself a Break! Self-Compassion Is Good for You!” BalancedAbundantLiving.com.  March 2021.

“Setting Personal Boundaries: Essential for Self-Care and Emotional Freedom.” BalancedAbundantLiving.com.  December 2020. 

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