“1. Reset the computer in your head. That’s right. Wipe out the hard drive that carries holiday memories of the past. The perfection you remember is likely skewed anyway. The circumstances back then were very different, and it’s time to celebrate the holidays in a new way that fits your life as it is right now. There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing but drawing unfair comparisons between this year and past holiday seasons will only set you up for disappointment. 2. Watch a Silly Holiday Movie. I’m serious – laughter is therapeutic. Find a funny, imperfect and touching holiday movie like “Elf” or “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” and make it a part of your celebration each year. Years ago, my youngest son and I started watching “Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean” each Thanksgiving. The tradition began after we experienced deaths in the family over the holidays two years in a row. After the second holiday season spent grieving, I still remember my son saying to me, “I hope we don’t have a funeral this Christmas.” We didn’t. However, we did again the following Christmas. Throughout our funeral-strewn holidays, we watched “Mr. Bean” at least once. Somehow this character who lives in his own little world is able to create his own happiness. When he tries to live life like other people, he fails. But when he is true to himself, he is happy. There’s an important lesson there.3. Be Thankful. In most cases, before we can be thankful, we have to accept where we are in life. Often there are circumstances that we would love to change and many that we never anticipated, but it’s where we are. If we accept it, then we can work our way toward expressing some gratitude. Maybe this gratitude is only that we are learning and growing from our hardships and setbacks. But even slight feelings of appreciation can help improve our attitude and help us see what is really important. 4. Communicate with Your Loved Ones. Even small children can understand—if they are told in a loving way—that your time is short or you have to cut corners because Grandma and other family members rely on you, too. Communicate the same thing to the elder(s) in your care. Helping the entire family understand that each person’s desires are important to you but that you have a lot on your plate can help keep their expectations more realistic. You’d be surprised how much a senior, even one who has dementia, can understand. The holidays are about giving and sharing out of love. Having this conversation with the family may even inspire them to lend a hand or cause your elders to encourage you to spend more quality time with your kids and grandkids. 5. Simplify your plans and enjoy what truly matters. Forgive yourself for the scant decorations, the online shopping and the skipped Christmas cards. In fact, congratulate yourself! Remind yourself that your health and sanity are a gift to your loved ones. By skimping on some of the frills, they will have more quality time with you. That is far, far more important than a Norman Rockwell Christmas.” | 
